Saturday, October 31, 2015

Disappointment and The Secret of the Chairs

Matt and I finally nailed down a date and venue for our wedding. But it wasn't our first choice. Our first choice was renting a giant beach house where we could have everything: the wedding, the rehearsal dinner, a honeymoon after the wedding, and a place for all of our bridal party stay. But one of the first things I've learned about wedding planning is that whatever you want, it's probably not going to happen the way you want it. This feeling, for me, can be overwhelming, and sometimes it makes me not want to plan a wedding at all. As I scan through photos on websites of perfect table settings, models wearing long lacey dresses that don't give them weird armpit fat at all, decorations that look like Martha Stewart personally came over and crafted herself, I know that not all of the things I might get excited about will turn out the way I want them. The house was one of them: in the end there were disputes over the contract with the owner (Personally I think asking the owner to put a line in the contract that the house, which was currently under construction, would actually be built by the time we stayed there, was not being unreasonable, but she seemed to think so.) and we didn't sign. But instead we booked a very nice place that is not a house, but I'm sure will be great. And like, guaranteed to not have any gaping holes between rooms or exposed ceiling beams.

We were glad, though, that we booked a place that did have some things included, which the beach house wouldn't have. For instance chairs and tables, which are beyond frustrating to try and rent. It's like this big secret how much chairs cost. Nobody will tell you. We looked at website after website (which all looked like they were made in 1997 on trying to figure out just a general cost for renting enough tables and chairs but the prices were never anywhere to be found. I've found that's how it is with wedding stuff in general: nobody lists their prices. I guess you're not supposed to care because its like your "big day" and all expenses shouldn't matter, but dear god, I've been trying for two weeks to get a caterer to reveal to me how much it would costs to feed 150 people pasta and I cannot get her to tell me. Unless you want to buy a "Wedding package", getting prices out of vendors is basically like trying to solve all of those booby traps Indiana Jones has to go through to get to the Holy Grail. Vendors love to list prices for their "Wedding packages" which usually include things you didn't even know you needed at your wedding: fondue fountains, valet parking, decorative chalkboards, chandeliers, someone to softly serenade you with "Bridge Over Troubled Water" while you get your make up done, etc. In general, planning a wedding is like jumping into a whole new insane world I never knew existed, full of people who insist your marriage will never last unless you purchase topiary shaped like your busts. My favorite vendor I've come across is a company that just rents out mismatched old fashioned plates, because every wedding I've ever been to I've been like "this wedding fine I guess but I can't believe I have to eat off this stupid plain white plate." I'm not sure how much the mismatched antique plates cost because of course there are no prices listed on their website, but I assume its an outrageous amount of money.

But for now, we've kind of put a hold on all planning. We have a place, we have a date, we just had our -1 year anniversary yesterday. (We decided peanut butter ice cream was the -1 year anniversary gift). The truth is, before I got engaged, I'd never spent too much time thinking about what I wanted for my wedding anyway, so any disappointments along the way are not really going to be that much of a let down.  Even though things will likely never be perfect, nor will we ever find out how much pasta costs, it's going to probably be okay.

Ok fine, I kind of want the mismatched plates.

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